I know so well how you are feeling right now. That awful feeling of guilt with which you can’t seem to do anything is a heavy burden on the heart.

Like you, we derive meaning in our lives from our place in the natural world and our sense of fellowship with the other animals we live amongst, and I can just imagine the sick feeling in your stomach when you realized you had accidentally killed a turtle – a very rare and special creature.

Know this – your description of your 2 acre woodland tells me that you have made respect for wild animals a real priority in your life and this says extremely good things about both your character and your intentions towards your fellow beings. You simply did not discern that the object you saw was an animal friend and if you’d had any idea that it was, you would likely have stopped your car and gotten out to greet and admire him. I am totally confident of that.

It is my belief that intentions are extremely important, especially in the natural world. I have been thrown into paroxysms of grief and depression when I have accidentally stepped on a snail or bug I simply didn’t see and I have railed at the Creator asking why He made me so clumsy, so poor sighted, so faulty, so much bigger than the animal I’ve accidentally killed. The knowledge that the animal was happily going about his little day until I lumbered along and killed him is so hard to deal with.

But, elephants have the same problem. They must step on many small creatures without ever realizing it. It’s hard to be bigger. Just by being a larger animal, we are doomed in a way to cause harm to smaller animals. Our cars make this even more of a problem.

I have tried to console myself in the past with a very strong sense of the fact that my intentions are important in the natural and spiritual world. I ask the forgiveness of beings I have accidentally killed and try to believe that if they are dead, they have gained ultimate understanding and know not only how sorry I am, but also how I would never have intended their death. Accidents are accidental after all – not the result of bad intent and I certainly believe that the turtle would understand this, GW.

I’m very sorry for your pain and mourn with you the loss of that wonderful turtle. This was a mistake and all of us on the Earth make such mistakes sometimes, no matter how much love we have for others. You need to grieve for a time, but then I hope you will sense a time of release of this animal’s spirit and a sense of forgiveness.

I am glad you found this article to be true and helpful and let’s both hope that other will read it and minimize, even in some small way, preventable accidents. Sending you my best wishes and care in your sorrow.
Mim

These words hit home with me with deep significance. I had just googled “amends roadkill” and found this article, for something terrible happened today.

I should maybe explain, I’m a nature lover. I was a volunteer at a wildlife rescue center for years, and have since directed much political activity towards land-use preservation issues. I’ve attempted to maintain my suburban 2 acre woods as a wildlife sanctuary. And as an artist, my sense of aesthetics and meaning is all derived from nature. It is everything that is beautiful, sacred and holy to me.

There has been something of a crisis in my family lately. Today I was rushing from one place to another, swiftly came down my driveway, around a curve. I saw something…..I thought it was just a chunk of wood or an odd conglomeration of leaves. I thoughtlessly ran it over.

Only when I returned did I see it had been a turtle.

I have only seen maybe one turtle around here in the last 5 years. To me, a turtle is something rare and precious, innocent and beautiful. I am inconsolable. In my own personal vernacular, destruction of an exquisite thing of nature is the worst sort of karma, crime, sin or omen. It has shaken me to the core of my being.

There seems to be no way to make amends. (What good would it do the turtle, anyway?) But I’m grateful to see this article in Vegan Reader and hope that people will take it seriously. You don’t want to feel the way I do, believe me.

So, yes, pay attention. Sometimes it might be the most familiar roads where you pay less attention. Slow down. Be careful, for the sake of your own conscience and for the sake of the beautiful, precious creatures out there.